924Board.org

[Phogphire1]

My wife just e-mailed this to me: Regarding my new hobby, and a reminder that I forget to send her flowers or get her a card for her B-day 1st time in 10 years.


Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry
applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as
Romance 9.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA
3.0. and Porsche Project 9.24 with late night cursing package
Now Attention 8.0 no longer runs and Conversation 2.6 simply crashes the
System. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail. What can I do?

"Desperate"
-------------------------------

Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while
Husband
1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU
LOVED
ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly WAV files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Good Luck.
_________________
Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of thoose that dare screw with it.

[Neil924]

That is flippin' funny!

[Carnut 280]

that's great. really funny. I like the Porsche project 9.24 with late night cursing package.
_________________
Porschephile at home=Carnut 280

[Joes924Racer]

haha-ha well if you have kids you can make it all up this sunday..
_________________
1979 porsche 924 Na
1980 porsche Turbo 931GT Replica
Have u ever driven a turbo.

[Vince Ponz]

I suggest that Husband no 1 put in his key and turn her over.
_________________
"Never let them see you sweat"
77.5 924 modified track car
79 931 Euro stock
88 924S SE
87 911 Targa stock

[wdb]

Male Friend Needs Technical Support


Can you please advise me. I'm having some problems. I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 all along as my primary application, and all the girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if you run girlfriend in background mode with the sound turned off. But I'm embarrassed to say I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. I just run them separately, and it works okay. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said that I probably didn't have enough cache to run girlfriend 2.0, and that eventually it would require a Token ring to run properly. He was right --- as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while.

I very cautiously upgraded to girlfriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system! Then I tried to run GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of girlfriend and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions! The version I have right now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly, I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is totally "object-oriented". A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a "huge resource hog". It has taken up all of his space, so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreesexPlus, particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although -he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0 which has an automatic pop-up feature that he can't turn off. I told him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself, Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway due to insufficient resources. Can you help??

http://www.annoyances.org/exec/show/article09-132

more puter humor

http://www.annoyances.org/exec/show/category09