924Board.org

[Joes924Racer]

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.

"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"

"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money."
_________________
1979 porsche 924 Na
1980 porsche Turbo 931GT Replica
Have u ever driven a turbo.

[morghen]

WHAT THE F*CK ?!?!?!!!!

http://youtu.be/BMgd6T5OTvs
_________________
Supercharger and EFI kits
https://www.the924.com

[CorsePerVita]

Spiders on drugs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc
_________________
- 1977 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (Trackday Project)
- 1979 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (The other daily)
- 1980 Porsche 931 (Daily)
- 1987 Lamborghini Jalpa
- 1999 Ducati 900SS

[MikesCoupeGT]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7iUKaPlBl8
_________________
Cheers;
MikesCoupeGT
'76 924
'83 944
''19 Elantra GT N-Line

[DOCO]

Just when ya thought..It's not possible for another blonde joke......



A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful.

She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.

Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons.

I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

David the milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can just splash it on my eyes."
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[DOCO]

just have to keep the humor rolling around here....


There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very
depressed because he loved to play golf.
One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and
went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking
down and saw this man skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels. He
looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.
He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still
have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down
the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life. He hurried down and caught
up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he
lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked
him again for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if
that guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.
He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"
He said, "I'm NOT happy. My balls itch."
Heart-warming stories like this just makes one want to cry.
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[DOCO]

well just back from the fishing camp!!Good summer vakay!! Well of course my email has a bunch of good ones in it. I hope i havent posted this one before,but it really funny and ya just gotta have a read!!!



If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the Story below will have you laughing.

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisonerIn his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad.
Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him Into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert andErnie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!"
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,"
She informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on.
I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced.
"We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked
"
We peered at the patient.. After much struggling, what looked
Like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when
It next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.

"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern
Here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with
My son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the
Little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. And Mrs. Cameron,
May I speak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor.
In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . .Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, Like most male species, they um . . Um . . . Masturbate. Just the way He did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just . Just . . . Excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And Giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just .that . ..I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . Its.. . Teeny little . . "
She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly Bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad Everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50..

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:

Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.

Lizards lay eggs!
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[Joes924Racer]

The police in the city of Oakland r cracking down on speeders heading towards and into the city. For the 1st offense there given 2 Raider tickets.
For the 2nd offense there made to use them. Courtesy of Willie B.@ KBPI.
_________________
1979 porsche 924 Na
1980 porsche Turbo 931GT Replica
Have u ever driven a turbo.

[morghen]

http://forums.rennlist.com/rennforums/924-931-944-951-968-forum/772462-think-i-dropped-something-in-my-cooling-system.html#post10701003
_________________
Supercharger and EFI kits
https://www.the924.com

[DOCO]

Yummybud thats not timstar is it?
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[morghen]

[fiat22turbo]

[Power Tryp]

Poor guy isn't actually learning anything over there. They hand him a lot of info that just a little effort and some Google advanced search could have given him.
_________________
Melanie - 1980 931
NoName - 1980 931 (seeking rebuild)

Green tartan interior, you don't see that on a Civic.

[morghen]

[DOCO]

Well i think i know what the issue is ,his name is Yummybud420. Well if that isnt a note saying i smoke weed i dont know what is!!!LOL I myself dont mind the odd bud every now and then,and lord knows theres real good potent stuff in BC,but then im old and theres no help for me!!!!!
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"