924Board.org

[DOCO]

A drunken Newfie gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. Then, nothing. But, after another minute or two, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.

“What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet minding my own business," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts."

The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[Joes924Racer]

Pure genius.
_________________
1979 porsche 924 Na
1980 porsche Turbo 931GT Replica
Have u ever driven a turbo.

[DOCO]

Happy and Sad



A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV

program about psychology and explaining the

phenomenon of "mixed emotions". The
husband turned to his wife and said,

"Honey, that is a bunch of crap. I bet you can't
tell me anything that will make me happy
and sad at the same time.




She said: "Out of all your friends,

you have the biggest penis."
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[Harm]

[CorsePerVita]

Cheesy pun.


_________________
- 1977 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (Trackday Project)
- 1979 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (The other daily)
- 1980 Porsche 931 (Daily)
- 1987 Lamborghini Jalpa
- 1999 Ducati 900SS

[Khal]

Was going to go for the "What I like about the United States'" thread but, well...

Pole Dancing for Jesus. Gold.
_________________
'80 924 Turbo

[Khal]

Laugh of the day? Top Gear wannabes.
_________________
'80 924 Turbo

[DOCO]

a poem from my loving daughter this ones for the ladies!!!!


For years and years they told me,


Be careful of your breasts.


Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.


And give them monthly tests.


So I heeded all their warnings,


And protected them by law.


Guarded them very carefully,


And I always wore my bra.


After 30 years of astute care,


My gyno, Dr Pruitt,


Said I should get a Mammogram


"OK," I said, "let's do it."


"Stand up here real close" she said,


(She got my boob in line),


"And tell me when it hurts," she said,


"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."


She stepped upon a pedal,


I could not believe my eyes!


A plastic plate came slamming down,


My hooters in a vice!


My skin was stretched and mangled,


From underneath my chin.


My poor boob was being squashed,


To Swedish Pancake thin.


Excruciating pain I felt,


Within it's vicelike grip.


A prisoner in this vicious thing,


My poor defenceless tit!


"Take a deep breath," she said to me,


Who does she think she's kidding?!?


My chest is mashed in her machine,


And woozy I am getting.


"There, that's good," I heard her say,


(The room was slowly swaying.)


"Now, let's have a go at the other one."


Have mercy, I was praying.


It squeezed me from both up and down,


It squeezed me from both sides.


I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,


To HER tender little hide.


Next time that they make me do this,


I will request a blindfold


I have no wish to see again,


My knockers getting steam rolled.


If I had no problem when I came in,


I surely have one now.


If there had been a cyst in there,


It would have gone "ker-pow!"


This machine was created by a man,


Of this, I have no doubt.


I'd like to stick his balls in there,


And, see how THEY come out!
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[Andrew NZ]

[968rz]

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.


"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."


"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."


"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him,
so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.


The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work...
The ass hole is usually in charge
_________________
Rick
79 924 coupe Petrol Blue 3spd auto (wife's DD)
93 968 coupe Amazon Green 4spd Tip (my DD)

[brealytrent]

http://translate.google.com/#en|zh-CN|hahahahahahahahahhahhaahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahhhahahahahahh%20Huhahuhahuhahuhahuhahuhahuhahhhhauu

Click the listen button under the translation
_________________
1977 Porsche 924 - sold
1980 Porsche 931 - sold
1984 Porsche 928 'S2' Euro - sold
2016 Ford Fiesta ST - sold
2009 Porsche Cayman

[DOCO]

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

The wife was upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria: "Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze."
"The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."

Wife: "Oh yeah?"

Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

Maria: "Jor hozban did."

Wife increasingly agitated: "Oh he did did he?"

Maria: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed."

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth. "And did my husband say that as well?"

Maria: "No Senora....... The gardener did."

Wife: "So how much do you want?"
_________________
Doco "where am i going and why am i in this handbasket"author unknown
79 924 N/A "Webster"
_______
/______\
[+]___[+]
\0 924 0/
[__]..[__]
"WEBB STR"

[CorsePerVita]

NWS due to language.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxtRGEVsSOc

Pretty much awesome.
_________________
- 1977 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (Trackday Project)
- 1979 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (The other daily)
- 1980 Porsche 931 (Daily)
- 1987 Lamborghini Jalpa
- 1999 Ducati 900SS

[CorsePerVita]

How to autocross 101.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bml8DONNSCo&feature=player_embedded
_________________
- 1977 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (Trackday Project)
- 1979 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (The other daily)
- 1980 Porsche 931 (Daily)
- 1987 Lamborghini Jalpa
- 1999 Ducati 900SS

[CorsePerVita]

http://imgur.com/a/D17ll
_________________
- 1977 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (Trackday Project)
- 1979 Porsche 924 2.0 N/A (The other daily)
- 1980 Porsche 931 (Daily)
- 1987 Lamborghini Jalpa
- 1999 Ducati 900SS