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Gracie

Recently, actually today is my last day, I have had to babysit my dads farm. His farm consists of a friggen boat load of cats, three dogs, (two that are constantly being sprayed by skunks) a million chickens (that can fly) and seven or eight horses. I'm sure the number is closer to seven.
During the time I have spent here, I have done a great lot of thinking. As a result, I realized that my water pump was easier to fix than making sure nothing living on the farm dies. Including my children. Though at times, that well looks like a nice jail cell for them...
Any way, here is why owning a 924 is easier than owning a farm.

1. When you kick your car you don't feel guilty.
2. Cars can run forever with the low fuel gauge on. (well...mine can)
3. Cars have a low fuel gauge.
4. Feeding a car is a 3 minute job that does not require a pitchfork, 20 minutes of backbreaking labour, a truck, someone to open the gate, someone to close the gate and someone to chuck the fuel over the side.
5. Cars will not stampede you at the gas station.
6. Cars will never escape from the garage.
7. Cars will not scream at you to put them back when they do escape.
CAUSE THEY DON'T!
8. Cars have no wings, therefore, their wings do not need to be clipped, nor will they beat the crap out of you with their wings when you try to clip them. CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ANY!
9. Cars are completely devoid of duclaws. Thank God!
10. Cars will not use their duclaws on you just because they can.
11. Cars will not try to get into your house and climb on the counter or table and eat the food that was left out.
12. You can scream at your car and it won't shrink away from you, making you feel guilty.
13. You can strip the layers off of cars when they get hurt, use a grinder, bondo, files, paint... Apparently, you can't with animals...
14. With cars there is no reason to learn the difference between hay and straw.
15.Cars don't care if the garage is a disgusting mess with dangerous tools lying around.
16. You will never have to hang a dead car around your dogs neck because the car escaped and your dog killed it.
17.Cars will always act like what they are. A car. (my dad has a couple of horses who think they are dogs. Very uncool. especially at feeding time. Seriously, my touque is NOT a toy! It belongs on my head!)
18. A car will never walk into the pitchfork when you try to feed it.
19. Your car will never follow you down the lane when you're trying to get your kid on the bus. It STAYS WHERE YOU PUT IT! Dogs, okay, horses, not okay.
20. When your car has an accident and is ruined beyond repair, you have no reason to explain to your kid that the car is with Jesus now...

And those are my top 20 reasons why I will never own a farm.
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Working on cars is restful for they have neither conflict nor emotion.

Time with cars is never wasted, even if all you do is stand there and curse at the unfinished impossibly curved 1/4 panel.

924RACR · Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:19 am Post subject:

ROTFLMAO!!! Great post!!
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Vaughan Scott
Webmeister
'79 924 #77 SCCA H Prod racecar
'82 931 Plat. Silver
#25 Hidari Firefly P2 sports prototype

ideola · Joined: 01 Oct 2004 Posts: 15550 Location: Spring Lake MI

Encore! Very funny, thanks Mand, needed a good laugh today

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erstwhile owner of just about every 924 variant ever made

Gracie · Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:38 am Post subject:

Aww, thanks guys, made me laugh too. Cause if I didn't laugh, I'd be crying...really.
_________________
Working on cars is restful for they have neither conflict nor emotion.

Time with cars is never wasted, even if all you do is stand there and curse at the unfinished impossibly curved 1/4 panel.

Slam · Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:02 am Post subject:

Mand, I'm literally crying with laughter!

Good thing you're coming home soon

Khal · Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:06 am Post subject:

Gold!
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'80 924 Turbo

D Hook · Joined: 02 Nov 2002 Posts: 3158 Location: Omaha, NE

Funny stuff! Thanks!
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'80 924 n/a SOLD

Nobbi · Joined: 24 Aug 2006 Posts: 1396 Location: Germany

i feel with you. I had the same feelings when i was in BC and watched for a farm. Animals: Dodge RALLY WAGGON, Goats,Horses,Dogs.Pigs,Chickens ect......

I like the "open the gate,drive thru it,close the gate" part.....i hated it.

Nobbi

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NA 924 - april/1977- 4-speed-audi gearbox.
500.000 km with fun.....and new toy:Porsche 944 S2 Cabriolet.Other car Daimler c-class cabby,brandnew..Plus : DEUTZ 4005 tractor Built 1967

Power Tryp · Joined: 16 Apr 2009 Posts: 435 Location: Calgary, Alberta

Agreed whole heartedly. Having grown up on the farm I'd much rather have a car than a large animal.
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Melanie - 1980 931
NoName - 1980 931 (seeking rebuild)

Green tartan interior, you don't see that on a Civic.

dvalmont136 · Joined: 18 Sep 2008 Posts: 98 Location: Columbus, OH

This is funny, but can anyone please explain #16 to me??

Slam · Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2010 5:56 am Post subject:

Scenario:

Chicken escapes.

Dog catches and kills chicken.

Owner of chicken, who understands value of bird, takes action to ensure dog's killing sprees are curtailed.

Dog has dead chicken lovingly tied around its neck.

Dog realizes dead chickens, when dangling around his neck, really suck.

Dog kills no more chickens.

Owner's bank account protected.

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'84 944 - kid blew motor
'83 944 - resting comfortably. For 12 years
'87 944 - sideswiped by trucker
'80 924 - gone
'78 924 - gone
'77 924 - rusting comfortably

dvalmont136 · Joined: 18 Sep 2008 Posts: 98 Location: Columbus, OH

LOL, thanks! I was wondering, at first thought it was a dead cat maybe, regardless, for a city-boy like myself it is oddly grotesque practice i've never heard of before!

I would ASSUME these "farm dogs" are outdoor only dogs, at least when they have dead animals bound to their necks!?